sleep.

i need more.
that's all, really.

rain boots and jesus.

i got to wear my new rainboots today. it was a perfect day for them seeing as it was raining. it's been raining a lot. we are under all kinds of flood warnings and nonsense.


lately i feel close to jesus. i like that feeling and i don't want to lose it.

also, i think my hand is broken. it hurts a lot and is it not getting better. i might chop it off.
that's all.

simple beauty.

i'm trying to look for the simple beauties in life. to be joyful even when i don't feel like it. i also feel like there is a certain simple beauty in recognizing the reverence of God. in seeing things from an eternal perspective and recognizing that i am not my own. it's refreshing to understand that this world is bigger than i make it and that there is an eternity for me to look forward to. in the meantime, i will enjoy my days and rejoice in the small things. that's all really.


i've been home from greece for a week now. i already want to go back. well, i never wanted to leave. i'm trying to not be bitter about it. it's starting to get better. i will post pictures soon.

Human Behavior in Organizations

Ashley: "I have't even started studying for my HBO test."
Abby: "Just remember sluts in hoochie skirts. HBO."

It's been long week. I'm officially immune to caffeine.

Dusty Feet

God is so good.
He always opens up the right door exactly when it needs to be opened. Things happen so effortlessly when I trust Him and allow Him to work in me and through me. Oh man.

I just got offered an internship postion at Dusty Feet. It's a non-profit organization that was formed by an Evangel alum. It's still really small. They are working in Africa with different groups of people mostly sex trade victims, child soldiers, and stree children. It's an amazing opportunity and I feel so blessed to have it. I'm ecstatic right now. I know that great things are going to happen as a result of this organization and I am delighted and honored to get to be a part of it.

You can check them out at www.dustyfeetonline.com



I'm going to Greece in 3 days...get excited.

it's wednesday, february 13 at 11:48 pm.
tomorrow is valentine's day. every year i get myself all pumped up and convinced that i am not going to let the pink and red explosion or the googley-eyed couples, the chocolate filled hearts and teddy bears get to me. and every year, without fail, they do. i guess it is probably more than the trival things that bother me. it goes much deeper than that. i would really like to be the girl that gets flowers, but instead, i have been deemed "deliverer." i know it sounds pathetic and lame but it really is a very hard day for me. maybe because i am such a hopeless romantic to begin with. i don't know. and really, i am not a cynical, i hate this day kind of person. however, my heart longs for what i see all around me (and more than glorified on 2-14) and it makes me sad. being upset, i tend to just be a sarcastic, hard person.

seven more minutes...

i need to go to bed. i just wrote a book review on "the great divorce." i am really not happy with it at all. i have felt lost from the beginning of this paper. the professor never told us what exactly she wanted. she just said to write a book review. what does that mean? elaborate, por favor. i guess we will see how i favor in the grading process. if it's not well, she and i will be having words, you can count on it. :)

what else is new? my best friend moved far away, but i think i am going to go see her for easter break. i miss her very much already. i hate separation. i hate change. and yet, i feel so discontented and just want to get away. i don't understand. i don't understand myself at all.

i guess that's all for now.
happy valentine's day. (and yes, i did roll my eyes as i typed that)

12:01 am

the heart of life...

I hate to see you cry
Laying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears and listen

Pain throws you heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way, it should
But I know the heart of life is good

You know it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
But then the circle of your firends
Will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way, it should
But I know the heart of life is good

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
Fear is a friend who's misunderstood
But I know the heart of life is good

I know it's good

John Mayer