switching to decaf.

caffeine has never effected me late at night. i had a nice cup of coffee about 9:00 tonight. and now i am wide awake. i'm not completely convinced it's the coffee's fault, however. i tend to be a thinker. i let my mind go in circles about the most nonsensical things. either way, it's 1:29 am and i am wide awake. i laid in bed bed for an hour and then decided to get up. but i have nothing to do. i suppose i could work on my geology. that would put me sleep quickly. i could read, but i'm not really in the mood. i thought about taking a hot shower. more so that when i wake up in the morning completely exhausted i won't have to worry about it. but, i am afraid that would wake up my suitemates and they are both very tired from a long trip back from tejas. what's a girl to do? maybe i will put on a sermon or some soft music? we'll see.

sitting here is not going to speed up the process any. it's only making me think more.
a lot is going on here. designed for life was incredible. i am so excited to tell you all about it. at a later date.
also, i am on a craft kick. it's bad news. i am going to drive home this weekend to get my sewing machine. this will probably result in even more of a lack in classes and a social life. but, i am okay with that.

the pink washed out of my hair rather quickly. i'm not too happy about it. i liked feeling like a rockstar. i think i might get a permanent streak put it in. would that be too crazy? we'll see.

alright. i am going to attempt to get some sleep. hopefully i can fall asleep by 2. that would still give me a solid 6 hours of sleep which i can function on...

more blogging will come soon.
love from room 110.

running.

i want to hop on a plane and run. well, fly to somewhere and then run. not run away from anything, but rather into something. into something bigger than me. bigger than the little world i have allowed myself to become consumed with. a life of abandon. i think that's what it's referred to as. maybe it sounds ridiculous. i don't know. i feel like my heart is being pulled in so many different directions that i don't even know what to do with myself. i might explode. and in the midst of it all i am reminded that 'God Reigns.' i know he is in control. i just want to do something great. i want to be a world changer. not a stagnant person who sits around and talks about the "what ifs." there are just so many things that my heart is drawn to that i don't even know where to begin:

greece. international justice mission. the world race. going home. dusty feet. advertising. bosnia. croatia. teaching english. sex trafficking. orphans. young women. being involved in church. living out of a backpack. africa.

and the list just continues.
it's hard to navigate and begin to think about what i want to do when i just want to do everything.

coming home.

home is where the heart is.
my heart, i think, will be at EU for a very long time.
it's a fantastically wonderful week full of fun and memory making.
i will say it was exhausting and for that reason i am glad it's over.
it's weird to think it was my last homecoming as a student. bittersweet.
i look forward to the days of reminiscing and catching up.
for now, though...i'll keep making memories and doing things worth remembering.

okay...enough of the sappy non-sense.
here's some pics:

please pray.

a million different things are going on right now and i just feel like we all need to pray. if you think about it please pray for my family, specifically. they are having a really hard time right now. my youngest sister, in particular, really needs a lot of prayer and encouragement. i am doing fine, just trusting the lord. i have been incredibly encouraged by Him lately and i rest in knowing that all things work together for good to those who love him and are called according to his purposes.

thank you for your prayers.
i will update you with homecoming festivities and pictures soon.

love to all.

that place.

i am in one of those places where i can feel myself changing. at least that is what i hope it is. when you finally get to a point when you are ready to listen. but even more than that...you might finally be ready to act. to trust. to step out of the boat and take a chance on believing. it's a scary and exciting adventure all rolled up into what i guess has become my life. not that i mind, really.

in the past few days i feel like i have been picked up and thrown into a refining fire. gently, mind you, because that is the way the Lord operates. it's hard though, being in this place. seeing the me that just isn't there yet. whatever any of this means anyway.

i was reading 'the shack' last night and Jesus was talking to Mack and telling him that he didn't have to have it all figured out. and he doesn't need to have himself in order. just take the little, broken, fragile pieces he does have to offer and offer them wholeheartedly. i feel like that is where i am. the beautiful thing is that i can sense the Lord telling me the same thing. i wish i had more to offer. right now, i just don't. but i am willing to give up my small, broken pieces and journey on. the thought of stepping out of the boat is a scary one. i generally prefer my security. but on the same token, it's something that excites me and gives me a desire to keep on keepin' on. it's a wild ride, this thing called life. i'm certain that i don't even know the half of it yet. i don't want to. it would ruin the surprise...or scare me out of perseverance. either way, for now i am content. i'm waiting to see what is next. waiting for direction and provision. the difference is, i suppose, that for once in my life i am actually waiting for it. i've lost the will to keep trying to do it myself. well, i am in the process of losing the will to want it my way.

it's generally better. letting God do it and all.

"For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."

-Isaiah 55:9

revamped.

i revamped my blog. i think i like it. i got the template from pyzam. i think i like it. the only bummer is that it cancels your blog feed so you have to go back through and re-enter all of those. i think it was probably worth it.

i had a little scare yesterday. i thought i was going to have to take statistics in order to graduate. but, no worries. it ended up being wrong information that was communicated to me. good thing, because i was not about to take 22 credits next semester. 19 is plenty, thank you.

cross walk chapel was good today. they announced the spring break trips again. joy came to my heart when they announced greece. a few tears even welled up. i am so excited. i should probably start a countdown!

what else is going on? i had my radio show again today. my wonderful suitemates called in. amy on numerous occasions to tell me she did not approve of my 'three in a row flashback' choices of plusone, bob carlisle, and some group singing about the devil going back to hell. i'm glad she called. and then she brought me coffee. it was a good morning. although i am still feeling the effects of a 5:30 am wake up call. no worries i didn't actually roll out of bed until 6:15. nonetheless...it was still dark out and that should be illegal!

i started reading 'the shack'. it's a really good book so far. i can hardly put it down! it's really, pretty deep though. so i probably will have to read it again. we are having a book club about it. so i am excited to get that started this weekend. i'll keep you updated on my thoughts as far as that all goes.

i think that's about all i have for now. i need to get some lunch.
love to all.

geology does not rock.

this is really the only rock i care about.


call me a terrible person, but i hate geology.
i am going to get a tutor tomorrow. that's right, folks. i am a senior and i am going to get a geology tutor tomorrow morning. i want an A. and i am not willing to sacrifice it. so, i'll suck it up. arg. i do not care about rocks. at all. i don't think i ever will. and i don't care if a big asteroid is coming to destroy the earth. and i don't want to know when it is coming. blah.

in other news...
huricane ike missed us. which is good, i suppose. i was hoping for a rainy day. the wind almost took me out at church this morning. i probably looked pretty ridiculous.

i was going to go to a greek festival today, but i opted for a three hour nap instead. it was a good choice.
now, it's to the books.

be blessed this week, friends.