hiatus.

i'm bad at blogging on here. sorry for all of you faithful readers out there.
being the case, i'm taking somewhat of a hiatus from this blog; although no worries. i will be checking all of yours, so keep them coming!

please, please, please check out my world race blog. it's updated much more frequently. and i actually talk about things that mean something. :)

http://ashleyhiggins.theworldrace.org

peace.

22 and bare.

my birthday was yesterday.  the big 22.  i guess it's a big one?  i don't really feel any different.  i think i am too focused on graduation and that whole transition to even care about adding another candle to the cake.  

i took down my picture wall today.  it was somewhat spontaneous.  i thought it might ease the pain later on if i was used to a bare wall.  i'm starting to think better of the decision.

[this is what the last week of school is doing to me.]

my mind has been moving too quickly lately.  i can't really seem to keep up.  and when i get stressed/emotional i question things.  not in a bad way, really.  i just ask myself and God many questions.  they don't usually get an answer, but it's somewhat comforting to know i am free to approach the throne of grace boldly nonetheless.  i think when i gear up for another season of questioning the lord just smiles.  it's a good thing he is more patient than i am.

on a lighter note, leash and i went to rendezvous last night in an attempt to study/write papers. little homework was accomplished although the company was enjoyed [at least on my part] and a late night wal-mart run for coffee creamer was incredibly delightful.

life.

my life feels crazy.  so today, in an attempt to make myself feel better, i put grace tape over my life.

my life feels crazy.  so today, in an attempt to make myself feel better, i put grace tape over my life.  i asked the Lord for grace.  and i asked to feel it.  and then i took pictures of myself.  i'm not sure if it was the ridiculous pictures coupled with a little 'i will survive' with the sun shining in my room and my window wide open or if it was just divine grace.  either way, i felt better as i traipsed to comm. theory class.  probably the 98% on my paper helped a little bit too.

so, while i sit in class, i will post some of those ridiculous pictures for all 3 of my blog readers.

leash got in on the action with me.

grace tape.  greek grace tape.  thanks to krystal for this.

my life just feels upside down.

i prefer to leave the red out.

white and blue.  i like it better that way.  i know, i know.  it's a terrible attitude to have.  i really do love the good 'ole U.S. of A.  really, i do.  but, i miss greece terribly.  i feel like i belong there.  i just want to be there.  but, here i am.  sitting in communication theory class as i write this.  it's raining outside and i'm so incredibly distracted.  i'm tired, jet-lagged, and spacey.  and frustrated b/c my video is not uploading on facebook.  what the junk.

i think i'll save the happy greece blog minus the bitterness for being back for another time.  maybe i'll just put it on my world race blog.  two blogs.  wow.

greece. in 38 minutes.

it's that time again.  spring break.

i am meeting my team to head to the airport in a little over half an hour.  it's been a long road to get to today.  but it's here!  the bags are packed.  money is in the bank.  passports in hand.  we're ready to go.  i'm so excited to be back in the city that really did capture my heart and change the way i see the world.  i would appreciate your prayers as we are gone for the next 10 days.  there is a lot of spiritual heaviness to ward off, and the occasional crazy down in omonia!  

i'll let you know how the trip goes, although i am sure it will be awesome!

  

provisions.

i'm learning to notice the Lord's provisions in the little things.  and the big things, too. fundraising for the World Race is going well.  we still have a long way to go, but the Lord has been showing Himself very, very faithful.  greece in t-minus 3 days.  oh my gosh!  i am so, so excited.  i cannot even hardly contain myself.  it's really putting a damper on my productivity. but, i am willing to make that sacrifice.  i'm posting a video below of my wonderful cousins.  amy and i babysat them on saturday night.  i've learned that allowing them to make videos of themselves is a great way to keep them occupied.  ethan has also taken a liking to my good friend julie, who is out in california.  so, we make her videos when i babysit.  it's a win-win for all.  my favorite part is when hannah, who is only 2 1/2, says "are you kiddin' me, ashley?"  they are just precious.  what joy they provide me.  i hope you enjoy it as much as i do!

bleh.

that's how i feel.

kinoki.

so.  abby and i have been wanting these kinoki foot pads for awhile now.  tonight, we were out and about and decided to stop at walgreens to pick up said item.  i had a coupon, so these beauties only cost $13.88.  not too shabby of a price for our health and well-being, right?  we're hoping these lovely, lavender scented wonders will cleanse of all that is not welcome and free us up to be all that we can be.  if nothing else, it makes for some fun pictures for your viewing pleasure.  enjoy, and no worries.  i'll let you know how well they work!

abby was a big fan of the lavender scent.

ice is nice.

especially when it gets me out of school.  glory, hallelujah.

no tefl tonight.  praying for no class tomorrow.

it would just be nice.  sitting in my sweats all day.  playing some skip-bo.  maybe take a nap.  yeah, i could handle it.  i know, reality will have to take precedence sometime.  but, i'm going to enjoy it while i can.  and i'll thank God for answered prayers.

that's all.

ask.

and ye shall receive if you have faith. matthew 21:22

i've been asking a lot of the Lord lately.
direction, wisdom, provision, strength, peace, courage, more provision.



the great thing is that the Lord is answering my prayers.
novel, i know.

and he does far more than i could ever hope or imagine. ephesians 3:20

growth is a good thing. being able to recognize that growth is a true blessing. one i have been able to take a glimpse at lately. and for that, i am truly grateful.

debrief (ing)

it's going to be an ongoing process, figuring all of this out.
twms was A-mazing. i wish i was back there. not cincinatti, necessarily.

i'm very much looking forward to what is in store for me.

i really don't feel like i can put into words what i am feeling yet.
but i will. hopefully soon, for all of you. sorry.

greece in t-minus 53 days! i will probably lose my passport in the riots, just so you all know. so if i don't come back, sell my stuff and send me the money. works for me.

blessings and sweet sleep, friends.

belated merry christmas.

due to my lack of internet at home i was not able to wish my blogging buddies a very merry christmas.
sorry.
but i finally found a connection to the outside world...
starbucks on a rainy day brings a great big smile to my face.

break has been great, but flying by.
reunion and fun for a few days in springfield/ozark/branson.
oklahoma with julie for a few days. so wonderful, but went way too fast.
christmas festivities with the fam.
a couple of days of nothing.
steph comes to town, although i have yet to see her yet.
and then in 3 days i will go to cincinatti for the world mission's summit!!!
and then straight back to wa-110 for a final semester.

i'm refusing to dwell on 'this is it' because i'm afraid i'll have a meltdown. even though i have somewhat of a plan, at least for the next year and a half or so after graduation, i don't do well with change. i miss the people i love entirely too much, and i like my little comfortable, evangel bubble. albeit a plan, it's a scary, and somewhat vulnerable one.

praise god for skype.

have a happy new year. make some good resolutions, friends.

i want an orange.

i would so much rather be in corinth, enjoying a nice, corinthian orange than studying right now!!!
it's going to KILL me. okay, not really. i am feeling rather dramatic. i feel entitled as it is 2:23 am.
oh boy, oh boy. and also....i'm gonna need to think about this.

hmmmm...i am not in a decision making mood. which is good. no decision necessary. yet.
but, i'm not feeling very contemplative.

what?

i just need sleep.

too much coffee.

i think i officially drank too much coffee today.
i think maybe around the region of 12 ish cups? that sounds about right.

12 cups of coffee
16 hours of homework
72 pages of a portfolio
3 Power Points
4 hours of sleep last night
22 geology questions
62 minutes in church
4 pieces of chicken
and 0 naps later...

my day is FINALLY over.
unfortunately, because today lasted so long, tomorrow will come quicker.

however, all numbers considered...it's good to know i have 1 big God.
and some more for you...James 1:2 says to 'count it all joy...'

and so...despite the fact that my eyelids are twitching, i can't feel my legs, my brain has imploded, and my stomach has coffee/creamer induced voids...i rejoice.

i rejoice because:
God is good.
God is BIG.
tomorrow comes.
i am blessed.
i really have it pretty great.

so, what began as an attempt to feel sorry for myself, has somehow, by the grace of God, turned into something quite different. i am not sure that has ever happened so blatantly to me before. i'll take it as a good sign.

with that, i'm off to bed.
be blessed.

the verdict is in.

i. have. a lot. to. do.

it is slightly less than awesome.
but, such is life.
don't worry. i'll survive.

more to come.
stay tuned.

official. or something like it.

well.
i received my acceptance letter (well, it was an e-mail) today for the world race.
259 days. that is less days than i will be abroad.
oh boy. if you are reading this i am asking for your prayers and support.
i will be getting a WR blog soon, so i will be able to keep you posted via that one.
i am so excited about this amazing opportunity the Lord has given me.
it's a little nerve-racking, sure. but, i am trusting in His faithfulness.

i'll write more later.
i should be writing a paper.
woops.


and now for a joke.
what do you call a cow with a twitch?











[beef jerky.]
bah ha ha.

signed. sealed. delivered.

well, i have officially submitted by application for the world race.
now i will have to wait for my two references to be sent in and then i will set up a phone interview. after that, i'm not really sure how long anything takes, but i will keep you all updated! i have such a peace about this. it's been a good week in that arena. i'm still going to keep praying about it and just keep listening to the ushering from the Lord. i know that He is good and faithful, so i'm not too worried about making the right decision.

i think that's all for now.
love.

one step at a time.

"I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

i think it's time to take a step of faith. of course, one step probably won't get me anywhere of much significance. i faithful life i guess, is what i am striving for. the Lord has always proved his faithfulness to me. i'm not sure why i struggle so much with stepping out and trusting him. probably my pride. along with a lack of faith. i just need a mustard seed.

i have not been able to shake the thought of the world race. the idea of traveling for 11 months to 11 countries to do missions work is something that is intriguing and compelling to a point that i cannot seem to get rid of it.

all of that to say. i was really wrestling with the idea of all of this the other day. it seems so unpractical and ridiculous. it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. and yet, the cause of Christ, generally speaking, is unpractical and ridculous. so, i went to church the other night and the Lord really spoke to me about stepping out in faith and no matter what just loving Him. i really felt like i should at least apply for this thing.

so, i come home and log onto the website. up in the left hand corner it says: no more excuses. the application fee is being waived for one more week. i think that's enough time to get it done. :)

i am scared beyond belief.
more excited than i have been about anything esle in a very long time.
i want to cry and jump for joy all at once.
whatever happens, i know God is in control. the task now is to go from the knowing to the believing. in that, i belive a life of faith will truly begin to take shape.

i'll keep you posted.

switching to decaf.

caffeine has never effected me late at night. i had a nice cup of coffee about 9:00 tonight. and now i am wide awake. i'm not completely convinced it's the coffee's fault, however. i tend to be a thinker. i let my mind go in circles about the most nonsensical things. either way, it's 1:29 am and i am wide awake. i laid in bed bed for an hour and then decided to get up. but i have nothing to do. i suppose i could work on my geology. that would put me sleep quickly. i could read, but i'm not really in the mood. i thought about taking a hot shower. more so that when i wake up in the morning completely exhausted i won't have to worry about it. but, i am afraid that would wake up my suitemates and they are both very tired from a long trip back from tejas. what's a girl to do? maybe i will put on a sermon or some soft music? we'll see.

sitting here is not going to speed up the process any. it's only making me think more.
a lot is going on here. designed for life was incredible. i am so excited to tell you all about it. at a later date.
also, i am on a craft kick. it's bad news. i am going to drive home this weekend to get my sewing machine. this will probably result in even more of a lack in classes and a social life. but, i am okay with that.

the pink washed out of my hair rather quickly. i'm not too happy about it. i liked feeling like a rockstar. i think i might get a permanent streak put it in. would that be too crazy? we'll see.

alright. i am going to attempt to get some sleep. hopefully i can fall asleep by 2. that would still give me a solid 6 hours of sleep which i can function on...

more blogging will come soon.
love from room 110.

running.

i want to hop on a plane and run. well, fly to somewhere and then run. not run away from anything, but rather into something. into something bigger than me. bigger than the little world i have allowed myself to become consumed with. a life of abandon. i think that's what it's referred to as. maybe it sounds ridiculous. i don't know. i feel like my heart is being pulled in so many different directions that i don't even know what to do with myself. i might explode. and in the midst of it all i am reminded that 'God Reigns.' i know he is in control. i just want to do something great. i want to be a world changer. not a stagnant person who sits around and talks about the "what ifs." there are just so many things that my heart is drawn to that i don't even know where to begin:

greece. international justice mission. the world race. going home. dusty feet. advertising. bosnia. croatia. teaching english. sex trafficking. orphans. young women. being involved in church. living out of a backpack. africa.

and the list just continues.
it's hard to navigate and begin to think about what i want to do when i just want to do everything.