meaning.

thanks to my dear friend julie and her ability to be a mastet at google-ing i now feel as though there is actually meaning to my name, and in some weird sort of way, me. ridiculous, i know. humor me...

...So not only is Ashley derived from "ash tree", but the two Hebrew words "Esh" meaning fire and "Li" meaning mine. So you are "My fire". Now, as I found, the ash tree.

Ash Tree. Is., xliv, 14 (A. V. for Heb., 'oren; D. V. "pine") depicts a planted tree, watered only by rain, whose wood is suitable to be carved into images and useful as fuel (Isaiah 44:15). Probably the tree intended is Pinus pinea, the maritime or stone pine, rather than the ash, as the various species of Fraxinus grow only in the mountains of Syria, outside Palestine.

Now, as we both know, an ash is the residue that remains when something is burned, and we also know now that the ash tree had a very strong elastic wood. Such ash contains the minerals essential to the maintenance of life.

Soooooo... what does this all mean?

I believe, my dear, that you take away from this that He is most gracious to you. You have a very strong exterior which is fantastic, yet where the enemy means to carve His image into you (Isaiah 44.15), you can rest assured that God is instead carving out the image of Himself. You contain His fire, and as you allow Him to put His fire to you, you will provide healing and nurture to those around you...

in other news...
summer is still going well. i have been working a lot and babysitting. no complaints on this end. i'm just trying to be be utterly and completely exhausted. i need to catch up on rest before wednesday. i'm taking my 6.8 kids to james river camp. i am so excited! a little bit nervous for the responsibility, but i am trusting God to do a great work in the lives of these kids. some family and probably precious alesha are coming to visit at the end of june so that will be really nice too.

i'm content. today is a content day. i need to shower and get ready for my life. at some point i need to work on internship stuff. go to springfield for activities with the ab-ster later. church tomorrow. birthday party for cousin ethan...which reminds me...i need a present for that, too. and then...maybe i can relax. chill out. take a nap. that's the good life.

blessings to all.

update...

i never cease to be amazed at what the people in my life do.
good and bad. i'm always stunned.

more on that later....

the name ashley does not mean anything cool. "ash tree meadow" awesome.
however, i discovered that janell means "God is gracious"

so very true. maybe i should go by that?
so ironic. i've been learning about grace a lot lately. funny how that all works out. maybe God is trying to teach me something?

happy summer. i have sunburned legs and cankles. cankles b/c my legs are sunburned i guess. it made them all swollen.
i look like a freak-o.

kansas was good. minus the getting sunburned part...i had a great time.

what else? skype and ichat are saving my life.
thanks to those of you who have joined me on that journey.

i'm less bored nowadays. i've been working and doing my internship. the internship i need to work on more, for sure. better get with that...i had intended to go to bed early tonight. it's 12:30. that is going to make tomorrow a LONG day.

i'm off.
blessings to all.

boredom...

i'm bored.
i'm sitting at home. in the basement. not unpacking the last few things of mine or wanting to pick up all of my clothes that i threw on my floor. i'm connected to the world wide web officially. woo woo. what a blessing wireless internet is. praise the lord. i watched the office from my bed this morning. it was wonderful. then i took a nap. now i am awake. just figured out that if i get all A's next semester i would only have a 3.73 for honors at graduation. you have to have a 3.75 to graduate magna. i'm thinking about re-taking psychology. i took it my freshman year and did not do well. if i could replace that grade with an A next semester i would have a 3.8. i know, i'm a nerd. is another class worth that extra star in the program when probably no one will even notice? yes, yes i think it is. we shall see.

my uncle called today and needs me to start working tomorrow which is really good b/c i wasn't supposed to start for another 2 or 3 weeks. it's a two-fold blessing, really. i will have something to do and i will start making money. that's a good thing.

i went to springfield last night for my 6.8 (Junior High) lifegroup. it was good, as always. i was getting ready to leave and i couldn't find my keys. i went outside and there they were...stuck in the ignition. my car wasn't on, good thing. and of course, like a good little, cautious girl, i locked my doors. awesome. so we had to call 'Sir Lock-a-Lot' or something ridiculous like that. i've decided that the locksmith business is a good one to go into. $35 for every 2 minutes. that's some serious, cold, hard, cash. i guess i probably wouldn't need to retake psychology to earn that extra star if i'm just going to open car doors. i'll have to weigh the pros and cons. maybe make a list.

i miss my friends. a lot. i did get to see abby last night so that was nice. she was on duty so i went back to school to see her. 2 days away was not enough yet. but i love her, so i went anyway.

julie introduced me to dreamcenterradio.com i love it. i feel like i am being cultured and informed. it's nice.

i probably should start my internship journal and not put it off forever. we will see. i might get motivated and clean my room. if it wasn't raining out i would sit outside and read a book. but, alas. maybe i will make some tea and read anyway. it's just not the same chilling in my room by myself. i like the comfort of knowing there are people close to me...but that's what summer and graduation and all of that brings...separation. oklahoma, michigan, hawaii, california, ohio...all of my best friends are all over the country. all differnt time zones. we all have our own lives apart from each other. i don't like to think about it. i want everyone to be together and happy forever. mr. dana said i should start a cult. i'm thinking about it. a happy, jesus-loving cult. hmmmm....

call me. chat with me. text me. e-mail me.

c'mon people...i'm dyin' here.
tomorrow will be better. and august will come soon.


i hope.

reality.

one year from today i will be a college graduate.
for some reason today that is a really scary thought. the courage and confidence i have been working to muster up for the last three years is gone. seeing all of the graduates in their caps and gowns, cars being packed up, and proud families meandering around campus has for some reason really affected me today. i don't like feeling this way. i hate goodbyes. i want everyone to live together and be one big, happy family. but, no. life must go on.

so, here i go...one foot in front of the other. slowly but surely. keep on keepin' on i suppose.

summer, here i come.


i'm praying that the Lord would be near to my heart. i need him to be.
happy graduation/summer.

love you all.