that place.

i am in one of those places where i can feel myself changing. at least that is what i hope it is. when you finally get to a point when you are ready to listen. but even more than that...you might finally be ready to act. to trust. to step out of the boat and take a chance on believing. it's a scary and exciting adventure all rolled up into what i guess has become my life. not that i mind, really.

in the past few days i feel like i have been picked up and thrown into a refining fire. gently, mind you, because that is the way the Lord operates. it's hard though, being in this place. seeing the me that just isn't there yet. whatever any of this means anyway.

i was reading 'the shack' last night and Jesus was talking to Mack and telling him that he didn't have to have it all figured out. and he doesn't need to have himself in order. just take the little, broken, fragile pieces he does have to offer and offer them wholeheartedly. i feel like that is where i am. the beautiful thing is that i can sense the Lord telling me the same thing. i wish i had more to offer. right now, i just don't. but i am willing to give up my small, broken pieces and journey on. the thought of stepping out of the boat is a scary one. i generally prefer my security. but on the same token, it's something that excites me and gives me a desire to keep on keepin' on. it's a wild ride, this thing called life. i'm certain that i don't even know the half of it yet. i don't want to. it would ruin the surprise...or scare me out of perseverance. either way, for now i am content. i'm waiting to see what is next. waiting for direction and provision. the difference is, i suppose, that for once in my life i am actually waiting for it. i've lost the will to keep trying to do it myself. well, i am in the process of losing the will to want it my way.

it's generally better. letting God do it and all.

"For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."

-Isaiah 55:9

revamped.

i revamped my blog. i think i like it. i got the template from pyzam. i think i like it. the only bummer is that it cancels your blog feed so you have to go back through and re-enter all of those. i think it was probably worth it.

i had a little scare yesterday. i thought i was going to have to take statistics in order to graduate. but, no worries. it ended up being wrong information that was communicated to me. good thing, because i was not about to take 22 credits next semester. 19 is plenty, thank you.

cross walk chapel was good today. they announced the spring break trips again. joy came to my heart when they announced greece. a few tears even welled up. i am so excited. i should probably start a countdown!

what else is going on? i had my radio show again today. my wonderful suitemates called in. amy on numerous occasions to tell me she did not approve of my 'three in a row flashback' choices of plusone, bob carlisle, and some group singing about the devil going back to hell. i'm glad she called. and then she brought me coffee. it was a good morning. although i am still feeling the effects of a 5:30 am wake up call. no worries i didn't actually roll out of bed until 6:15. nonetheless...it was still dark out and that should be illegal!

i started reading 'the shack'. it's a really good book so far. i can hardly put it down! it's really, pretty deep though. so i probably will have to read it again. we are having a book club about it. so i am excited to get that started this weekend. i'll keep you updated on my thoughts as far as that all goes.

i think that's about all i have for now. i need to get some lunch.
love to all.

geology does not rock.

this is really the only rock i care about.


call me a terrible person, but i hate geology.
i am going to get a tutor tomorrow. that's right, folks. i am a senior and i am going to get a geology tutor tomorrow morning. i want an A. and i am not willing to sacrifice it. so, i'll suck it up. arg. i do not care about rocks. at all. i don't think i ever will. and i don't care if a big asteroid is coming to destroy the earth. and i don't want to know when it is coming. blah.

in other news...
huricane ike missed us. which is good, i suppose. i was hoping for a rainy day. the wind almost took me out at church this morning. i probably looked pretty ridiculous.

i was going to go to a greek festival today, but i opted for a three hour nap instead. it was a good choice.
now, it's to the books.

be blessed this week, friends.

for julie.

i am posting this video for my dear friend.
the video makes me smile just about as much as my friend does.



p.s.
i want a china baby just like this one.

let my faith arise.

"I have been crucified with Christ.

It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.

And the life I now live in the flesh

I live by faith in the Son of God,

who loved me and gave himself for me."

all the caffeine in the world.

i don't know if all the caffeine in the world could wake me up these days.
i'm exhausted and it's only week 3. lord have mercy. the good news, however, that i have an overflowing supply of coffee and creamer as well as many clean mugs. thankfully, i also have friends who know when to cut me off from my supply!

i am taking a break from my 'language and culture' assignment right now. it's due this afternoon. i also have to do a gigantic self-assessment that is due tomorrow. it's probably a good thing that i am on duty tonight. maybe. i usually get distracted.

school is going well. it's spiritual emphasis week. i'm pretty excited about the service tonight. i'm praying that the Lord would do great things and continue to set revival on our hearts.

things are crazy busy, but the Lord is faithful. for the first time in a long time, i believe that. i accept it and i feel like i can live that principle out. cast your cares upon him... i think i will.

this is random and ridiculous.
i promise i will try to be better at blogging from now on.
thanks to those of you who give me something to read even when i do not return the favor, you know who you are!


and this is the new motto i shall live by.
thank you, postsecret.